*applause*

The rest? *yawn* There weren’t even any beautiful dresses!

I’m just glad there were marathons of Nick & Jessica and Carmen & Dave running. Heh.

Huh Corp

Don’t just stop at the first page, the whole site is funny.

Example:

We have really smart people who are always thinking up totally cool shit. We have a meeting room with a big, round, expensive table. When you hire us to do something, we spend lots of time sitting around the table having meetings.

Be sure to buy your Passion of The Christ Nails.

No, I am NOT kidding.

Good God. I am pretty sure Jesus is looking at all this and thinking “WTF?”

My bed is currently nekkid.

But today between 11-2, the people will be delivering my new pillowtop mattress. *dances*

Spoiler Protected
Read the rest of this entry ?

Spoiler
Read the rest of this entry ?

Accidentally blipped to a Christian Ministry radio station on the way to Walmart. They were discussing “the” movie.

Caller: My 11 year old is deeply faithful and has a personal relationship with Christ. She prays every day. Should I take her to the see the movie?

Radio Guy: If she is that faithful and her relationship with Christ is strong, the violence will only serve to deepen her faith.

Good grief. How about this lady? For the sake of your daughter, spend the $8, go see the movie first and MAKE YOUR OWN DECISION. Be a parent!

FFS.

Spoiler
Read the rest of this entry ?

Chet, this is for you.

I did not then, nor will I stand for now, personal attacks on my blog. Period.

Now, go listen to the Penis Song. Click Rori Radio. Oh, let me find “Lies, Lies, Lies” by the Thompson Twins as well. That would be apropos right now.

If you do NOTHING else today, click on Rori Radio link and play The Sweetest Thing - The Penis Song.

Do it. You will be glad you did.

You’re too big to fit in here,
too big to fit in here,
too big to fit in here

Read the rest of this entry ?

Gary Trudeau, of Doonesbury fame is offering $10k (ten thousand us dollars, folks) to the person who can offer proof positive that Bush fulfilled his military duty.

Did YOU personally witness the Shrub reporting for drills at Dannelly Air National Guard Base between the months of May and November of 1972? Go save Bush from this media ridicule!

Why are my comments returning an error of questionable content?

I do not want any language censored? Is this a new MT thing or something in a plug-in?

HELP!

Did you see it? Brendan Fraser reprised his role as Ben on Scrubs.

I am keeping the “gay chicken” sequence forever and ever because it was HOT! Brendan Yaoi? Oh yeah.

But the ending? I am in tears. That caught me so off guard.

Delta Airlines needs to be boycotted.

In order to fly Delta, you will have a credit check run on you, your banking history will be investigated and a criminal background check will be done.

Greens can pass through security as
normal
Yellows will require additional screening
Reds - well, you can’t fly

Your information will be kept on Delta’s computers for FIFTY years.

This is one of the scariest things I have ever EVER heard.

It is a lie. It is sick. Jews have every reason to be offended by “The Passion of The Christ.” Even more so, if possible, do Christians.

I really worry about the impact of this film.

US army private Jeremy Hinzman fought in Afghanistan and considers himself a patriot. But when his unit was ordered to Iraq, he refused to go and embarked on a radical journey that could make legal history.

I found this statistic alarming, and yet, somehow I knew not all soldiers wanted to be there.

Volunteers at the GI Rights Hotline, a legal aid center for soldiers, are receiving about 3,500 calls a month from military personnel looking to leave the armed forces.

Gee, I wonder if it has anything to do with the fact that 40,000 of them are being forced to stay IN the military, since the Pentagon canceled their retirement?

Good luck to you, Jeremy.

I made sure plenty of you knew it was my birthday.

And still.

NOBODY GOT ME THIS.

(you need to click to see what I am bitching about)
Read the rest of this entry ?

I recommend you listen to Vanity 6 on my radio blog while staring at this. Heh. Just click Music While You Read over in the sidebar.

This site is AWESOME!

Click on Guide to Electronic Music, click around the history, and enjoy the tracks that play.

MWAH! big dating game kiss to my friend Jamie for showing me that link!

Let Foreign Born run for President.

Rori says: Straighten up California, and quit worrying about it.

Spoiler
Sorry this is one day late…. I did not watch it until just now.
Read the rest of this entry ?

Someone asked me that today.

I do, very much.

In the early 90s, I lived in Oakhurst, California. It is one of the gateway towns to Yosemite. It is approximately 45 miles north of Fresno.

Some of the people who worked with me, at Sierra OnLine, lived in Fresno. One of them was my very good friend, Robert.

One day, Robert was making the trip from Fresno to Oakhurst. Part of the road is just two lanes, north and south. Robert had a small pickup, with a shell on the back. His daughter, who was about 7 at the time, was in the back of the truck.

Unfortunately for Robert, a woman travelling southbound swerved to avoid hitting a plastic bottle that was in the road and plowed into Robert head-on. It should be noted that the southbound lane has a decline, so she was going much faster than he was.

The force of the impact sent many of Robert’s teeth flying down his throat. He took months to recover.

But this is about the angels.

His daughter was found by the side of the road. The shell had turned over, and she was in it, lying in a blanket, completely unharmed.

When he was able to ask his daughter what she remembered, she said “Daddy, all I remember is the angels carrying me over the side of the road".

And that is why I believe in angels.

Spoiler Protected
Read the rest of this entry ?

On my entry below, called 12 Reasons Gay Marriage Should Be Illegal credit was not given to the original authors of the piece.

Also, the proper title should have been (and has now been changed in the archives) 12 Reasons Same-Sex Marriage will Ruin Society.

The University of Florida’s Gator Gay-Straight Alliance came up with it for a Valentine’s Day Flyer.

My apologies to them that proper credit was not given on the initial post.

First, thanks for finally getting up from your desk to acknowledge me. I realize we customers in the most expensive department in your store can be a real pain in the ass.

Second, thanks SO much for honoring the deal your subordinate put IN writing for me. I really did not need you to tell me that it would be a major ordeal for you to override the current pricing on the mattress. And that she was new and she should not have told me she could hold the price for me. Oh yeah, and I was really not amused when you asked me if I could just wait for the next sale.

One more little piece of advice for you… learn to use your register. Surely, I was not the first person ever in the history of the world to use a gift certificate and write a check on the same transaction.

Sincerely,
Rori
Read the rest of this entry ?

See the leader of the freeworld in the Vrksasana, Tree Pose.
Read the rest of this entry ?

Jan Miner, who played Madge the Manicurist, of “you’re soaking in it!” fame has passed away.

27 years she was Madge.

1. Homosexuality is not natural, much like eyeglasses, polyester, and birth control.

2. Heterosexual marriages are valid becasue they produce children. Infertile couples and old people can’t legally get married because the world needs more children.
Read the rest of this entry ?

Well, maybe not those boobs specifically, but ones that are very like that.

A woman got them and then she ran out without paying!

Full story here, thanks to Six Different Ways for making my day.

This random moment courtesy of REUTERS/David Rae Morris.

I installed Radio Blog tonight.

I am still finding some glitches in the conversion between the mp3 and swf files, but I will work on the quality of the songs.

But, anyway, if you want to hear some music while you read, just click the Music While You Read link over in the sidebar.

Thanks to Naked Sushi for this!

About 10 years ago, I read a book that I wish I could find again.

I do not recall the title, I know the other was in the first half of the alphabet by remembering where it was on the library shelves.

The premise of the book was that there is a new saviour every 2,000 years, and the new one was in utero and she was a little red-haired girl.

Does ANYONE know this book?

A student group at Roger Williams University is offering a whites-only scholarship as a protest.

They believe scholarships should be given on merit and need.

The student who is the president of the group doing this is himself a recipient of a $5,000 scholarship for Puerto Ricans only.

Read the full story here.

The new guy may look like this, buffer and more “ethnically ambiguous", but my heart will always belong to Lumberjack Brawny Man.

Wow. I have not been watching Trading Spaces as much as I used to, but I did catch one episode tonight.

The designers were Laurie and Kia.

Kia’s room did not do much for me, it had 3 grey walls, one orange wall, purple bedspread with shiny silver painted platform bed. It did not look complete when she was through, but as she said, she was flying by the seat of her pants.

Laurie’s room, as always, was completely done, and very excellent. The layout of the furniture was very creative. She had her hair straightened in this epi, and at times, her resemblence to Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis was startling.

But big fun starts March 7, Trading Spaces Home Free starts! Teams of homeowners compete to have their mortgage paid off! I can’t wait.

This is a beautiful slide show of soldiers coming home to Colorado Springs, CO.

I support our troops.

Cheat on Anti-Terrorist Security Drills!

And Bush makes sure 60 Minutes can’t talk about it just yet.

Boo-yah!

found at Electric Venom.

I truly do not know what to do with all these feelings.

I am very angry right now. How I feel is that some people seem to like to twist everything around to vilify.

I almost let myself get backed up into the fence today. I was defending stuff I did not even do, or say. Then I remembered. “Oh yeah, I’ve done this dance before with several boyfriends, my stepdad, etc.". The “It’s your fault I am hitting you” bullshit.

Well, no more.

If you do not like what is said here, leave. Contrary to what someone insinuated last night, I don’t blog for popularity. I blog for me. If you come here, you read and you want to comment/debate, that is really fun and bitchen and I love it.

Somehow my diatribe about Mel Gibson has gotten so twisted around, I am now against free speech.

WTF? I even contemplated turning this blog into a no-politics, no religion place. Then I woke up. It’s MY blog. I can say what I want, I can censor abuse.

I’m taking it back. The 24-hour hostage situation is over.

A woman decides to try horseback riding, even though she has had no lessons or prior experience. She mounts the horse unassisted and the horse immediately springs into motion. It gallops along at a steady and rhythmic pace.

The woman begins to slip from the saddle. In terror, she grabs for the horse’s mane, but cannot seem to get a firm grip. She tries to throw her arms around the horse’s neck, but she slides down the side of the horse.

The horse gallops along, seemingly impervious to its slipping rider. Finally, giving up her frail grip, she leaps away from the horse to try and throw herself to safety.

Unfortunately, her foot has become entangled in the stirrup and she is now at the mercy of the horse’s pounding hooves as her head is struck against the ground again and again. As her head is battered against the ground, she is mere moments away from unconsciousness when to her great fortune the WalMart manager runs out and unplugs the horse.

In his weekly address to the nation February 14, President Bush said the greatest threat to humanity is the “possibility of secret and sudden attack with weapons of mass destruction” and he discussed several domestic and international initiatives to prevent the spread of weapons of mass destruction (WMD).

Of course he opened his address with yet another reference to 9/11. So glad he is getting a lot of mileage out of that.

by Chet and Lex.

All I know about you two after had the pleasure of being trolled by you is this:

When intelligence fails, pretentious works.

Come back when you have something intelligent to say. Till then, ciao!

Mostly this will not make sense to most people here, but I am just going to say it.

If you come to this blog and get abusive toward me, I will not stand for it, and your malarkey will be deleted.

I do not care if you disagree with an opinion I state here, in fact, I welcome a constructive debate.

But to come here and start out and out name calling, or making derisive remarks about me, THAT I will not tolerate.

I stooped to your level and I am ashamed of it. So, THAT’s over. Moving along.

Spoiler
Read the rest of this entry ?

You’re handsome. I’ve admired your butt. You’ve made some good movies.

But your latest shenanigans with your Christ movie are over the top. I feel bad that you are having a crisis of faith, but you gotta know you are pissing people off.

“There is no salvation for those outside the Church,” Gibson replied. “I believe it.”

He apparently even thinks his non-Catholic wife is an iffy bet for heaven. “Honey, you are good enough to be the mother of my children, too bad you’re not Catholic". (imagined conversation)

I’ve left a husband for being a republican, I sure as hell would leave one for thinking he is closer to God than I am.

But, since he is not my husband, I can just boycott him. And I will.

It’s a slot machine. It plays the Monty Python song “Spam!” Heh.

It’s a tall image, so I hid it.
Read the rest of this entry ?

Spoiler
Read the rest of this entry ?

“Congress must censure President Bush for misleading the country about Iraq’s weapons of mass destruction.”

If you agree with that, go to MoveOn.org to sign.

of Disney!

Somehow, in my mind, Disney can not be had. It seems inconceivable to me, having grown up across the street from the lot in Burbank, and visiting Disneyland once a year.

Full story here.

my not so good friend.

The bipolar has been manageable for a while, but it seems like I am going a little whacky again.

Maybe I am just stressing because I am worried SICK about finding a job. I always hear those people say get up, get dressed like you are going to work, and spend 8 hours looking for a job.

I don’t know how they do it. What can you do for 8 hours? Maybe I am not searching correctly or something, but… yeah. I don’t know what to do for 8 hours.

Well, it is about 4 am, this sucks. Hopefully, I can sleep soon.

So, here in my town, which is run by Focus on the Family it seems, the city council voted against extending insurance benefits to domestic partners, etc.

The Mayor said (I paraphrase) we do not need to because we get plenty of applicants for our jobs, and we have a low turnover.

In other words, I guess what he means is as long as they let us keep fucking them over, let’s just keep fucking them over.

Yeah, and Focus On The Family told everyone to attend the meeting to tell their council members to vote against it, because after all, the only GOOD family is a Christian Heterosexual one.

*gags*

Oooooh, this is better than the Penguin game!

Watch We Didn’t Start the Fire

Or, if you prefer, you can read it here.

I got $5 and I am going to see a movie tomorrow.

Should I see Mystic River or Big Fish?

Best Male Rock Vocal Performance
(For a solo vocal performance. Singles or Tracks only.)

Gravedigger
Dave Matthews
Track from: Some Devil
[RCA Records/Bama Rags]

*dances*
WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOT!
Read the rest of this entry ?

I dare a Bush support to justify how the Bush Administration should decide what programming deaf Americans should have access to…

Check out what has been disallowed at the National Association of the Deaf website.

This was done without any public approval or input.

Updated weekly!

From this week’s entry, Where Are Them WMDs:

Seems like I’m gonna have to admit that we probbly won’t find any weppons of mass destruction in Iraq after all. Shoot, I was hoping it would blow over. Spent the morning trying to figger out what to do. Rote down some ideas, I’ll copy them here for posterraty.

Check it out! ROTFL!

I was over at Patchwork Progression just now, reading about Tapatio hot sauce. Ironic, I thought, given that I had just had a hot sauce dilemma of my own!

One of my favorite meals, no laughing! is a hot dog (Hebrew National Only) sliced down the middle long-ways. Nuke for 20 seconds.

Add some sharp cheddar cheese in the slit (heh) and nuke till the cheese is melty good.
Read the rest of this entry ?

In the lovely state of Virginia, a republican named Dick Black has introduced a measure to make sure that unborn children be given a painkiller before the abortion is performed.

“We must do everything possible to relieve the terror and suffering of children as they are aborted”

I am not FOR any being suffering. But as soon as this passes, and it is law that they have terror, pain and suffering, it’s not long after that abortions become illegal again.

These people are such asshats. There are already alive, walking beings in this country who have no medical care whatsoever, but these asshats want to make sure unborn children have painkillers. GAAAAAAAAAAAH, this shit pisses me off.

Don’t forget to watch Meet the Press tomorrow. GW Bush is on.

Thanks to Easy Bake Coven for the link to find the time and station in YOUR area.

Things I have in common with Kim

Instructions:
1. Copy this whole list into your journal.
2. Bold the things that you have in common with me.
3. Whatever you don’t bold, replace with things about you. Please add a comment (or ping me!) if you do it so that I can come read it!
Read the rest of this entry ?

The baby girl has arrived!

Go see at Mommy’s!

Or at Daddy’s!

Spoiler protected.
Read the rest of this entry ?

Oh, go do this… it’s fun! And the pictures of Bush with little horns like the devil are so cuuuuuuute.

Here’s the one I generated:

George W. Bush gave Iraq reconstruction contracts to his friends so that Republicans, Ann Coulter, the Christian Coalition, and gun owners could oppress liberals.

I found this today, and am so excited I felt I must share!

To start budget yoga, you need:
–A clear patch of floor space and wall
–One bottle of white school glue
–A family pet (preferably a dog or a cat)
–A very thick book (telephone directory, encyclopedia, Harry Potter #4 or later)
–A cushion

For the rest of the steps, go here.

Read the rest of this entry ?

Well, that should come as no surprise to most of us.

But today, it seems he is deeply troubled by the ruling in Massachussetts on same-sex marriages.

“Marriage is a sacred institution between a man and a woman,” Bush said in a statement. “If activist judges insist on re-defining marriage by court order, the only alternative will be the constitutional process. We must do what is legally necessary to defend the sanctity of marriage.”

Why is it that in Bushland, anyone who opposes him gets labeled? “Activist Judges". Hmmm. It could not have anything to do with the fact that the judges are making decisions based on their understanding of the law? Isn’t Bush himself an “Activist President” trying to force his beliefs on this nation, even threatening to do it via the Constitution?

Besides, any thinking person knows that marriage is a legal union, sometimes perceived as sacred, but certainly, if it is only a “sacred” union, then why the hell is it so damn hard to get out of it?

To paraphrase what Meryl Streep said at the Golden Globes, the big problem in this country is that the big problem in this country is the abundance of people in love who want to commit their lives to one another. Oh yeah, and sports dudes on steroids.

Get a grip, Wankers in Washington!

Thank you for the birthday wishes. It was a fairly uneventful day. Best thing to happen was I got a new carport closer to my apartment, which made me dance with glee, and numerous arm pumps while yelling “fuck yeah, skippy!”

Birthdays can be lonely and messed up, can’t they? I swear, I will never send a birthday card late again, because it might be the only one the person receives.

And it sures beats an email late at night saying “Oh, I was thinking of you today".

/complain

Holy Crap.Lions! Tours.

You have got to go see this little cartoon:

Kenya

and while you are there, you might also want to check out…
Read the rest of this entry ?

Has anyone else seen the Quizno’s Commercials?

What the sweet suffering fuck?

Those things, what are they? Shrieking maimed hamsters with teeth? And hats?

Here is a screenshot or go view a commercial at Quiznos.com.

Does anyone know why, when you scroll down my blog, everything starts moving over the left?

I found this at Gamer’s Nook, and it has answered every question I ever had about the color-coded alert system.

Go watch this short movie. You’ll be glad you did.

Yeah, I am excited. Dave Matthews will be performing at the Grammys in the Beatles tribute. I have an .mp3 of him performing “In My Life” and it is just fab!

I cannot wait. I dig the Grammys.

Let’s just hope to Buddha there is no boob flashing to ruin the whole show. *snort*

I finally have one! I added it to the image above.

I love it! *dances*

Everybody sends lots of love to Dooce, who is off to the hospital to evict Fawnzelle!

I implore you to simmer your ass down. The Justin/Janet incident is simply NOT that big of a deal. You keep saying it happened before 10 pm and so, it has offended the citizens… well, as a citizen, I think this:
Read the rest of this entry ?

Yeah, because most women wear pasties under our clothes in case our boob gets exposed.

Justin, Justin, Justin, WHAT were you thinking?

But then CBS comment about “They were totally inconsistent with assurances our office was given about the content of the show,” he added. “It’s unlikely that MTV will produce another Super Bowl halftime.”

Yeah, because stripping cheerleaders rubbing all over P Diddy and Nelly during the song about taking off all your clothes is FAMILY fare?

Give me a break.

Spoiler Protected.
Read the rest of this entry ?

Have I mentioned I have a headache? AND a toothache? And the headache has been going on for a week? And I damned tired of it?

I did finally go to the doctor and screamed ‘GIVE ME DRUGS’. She gave me a muscle relaxer that puts me to sleep in minutes and sent me to a physical therapist. His techniques are quite unorthodox. He had me in a tweak position where he was practically lying on top of me and he was squishing my right boobie.

But when you have had a headache for a week, you don’t much care about the stranger boobie-squish factor.

Okay, now, I am going to take one of my pills and zonk.