I start my new job tomorrow. 8:15 am.
I am so afraid.
They run a credit check on you, for god’s sake.
What if I get let go because I had a bill to go to collection?
I am just a jangle of nerves and fear.
Wish me luck.
My suit is ironed, and I am wearing a purple shirt for luck.
How odd. Shortly after taking the Transsexuality Quiz at Dog Snot Diaries, I came across a weird transsexual story. Let me just sum it up for you.
So, there’s this dude.
He decided to get his peepee removed and now he is a she.
Before the whacking, he saved some sperm.
Now, she wants her lesbian lover to have a baby.
With me so far? Because here is where it gets weird.
They want to come to the US for embryonic screening to make sure the baby is a girl.
WTF?
Are they the She-Girl Penis Haters club or something? Do not even want a little penis growing inside them? So after all that, they would abort if it had a weenie?
Seriously, WHAT THE FUCK?
Oh my god. I am watching the Dr Phil show today. It is about the kids coming out of college today.
THEY ARE SCARY.
They think that within one year of getting out of college, they will be making a six figure salary.
Parents, wtf are you teaching them?
The girl I was working with at my most recent job has ZERO experience, a degree in military history and she is disappointed and dissatisfied with a $30k per year job.
I want to be the real world for a moment so I can go bitch slap all of these people.
WAKE UP!
This is the world where people are losing jobs to Singapore! You don’t go to college and get a job as Judge Amy Grey. You are also not going to become Britney Spears.
ETHICS, PEOPLE! Get some. Fuck.
Yeah, so my second ex-husband decided to call me last night.
He had a dream about me.
A sex dream
And I had shaved my ya-ya.
And did I remember that time I shaved it for him to surprise him?
*face palm*
Why me.
Dear Self:
If you ever the head of personnel, and you lay people off on Wednesday, please make a note to yourself to remove them from your Outlook, so you do not send the corporate HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ….. email on Thursday.
Love,
Self
p.s.
Self, if you are that stupid, shoot self.
So, I have had a second job.
I just got laid off because I am being replaced by people in Singapore.
How much does THAT suck?
Why me?
Last night I had the hottest dream. I was making out with Ty Pennington in a swimming pool. It was good, it was hot, it was wet.
We make plans to meet later for more.
I go through the rest of the day in a euphoric haze. Mick Jagger was there and he made me wear a blazer to run to the store with him, but all I was thinking about was getting back to Ty.
Finally, I find Ty, meeting him in some kitchen.
He has changed.
He looks worried.
I ask him what is wrong.
He says he cannot go through with it. He says he likes me too much, but he is afraid of what I will bring to the table. I try to ask WTF he means, but he just looks sad.
I maintain my calm, instead of shouting “I just want to F**K you dammit".
We sit there and stare at each other. He is sad. I am incredulous.
I get up and leave.
Note to Ty: Next time you are in my dreams, just be a slut.
Note to self: Next time, just do him in the pool. Even if people are watching.
Kissable Belly Button Love Potion Fragrance
$34. It looks like lip gloss. Seriously, wtf?
I know I am a little off with all the girlie stuff, but kissable belly button fragrance with a choice of two flavors?
Frankly, I think I’d rather be kissed somewhere else.
Woot! Michael Moore’s film Fahrenheit 9/11 takes TOP prize at Cannes.
I cannot wait to see that film.
Love him or hate him, you have to admire his courage to speak his truth.
…to the Tin Man, that he didn’t already have.
That lyric has been my mantra the last few days. I am not sure why it popped into my head.
Maybe it had to do with going on an interview, and all the angst that goes with that.
All I know is that somehow, thinking about those lyrics, and understanding what it means really helped me walk through the interviews, believing that if what I had to offer was right, it was get noticed.
My body shape/size notwithstanding…
the color of my hair notwithstanding…
my college education notwithstanding…
and so on.
And guess what? I got the job.
I truly with all of my heart believe that if you open yourself up to the universe, and are willing to accept whatever is given to you, amazing things can happen.
and behind the extended entry… Tin Man, by America.
Read the rest of this entry ?
“I am going to take you somewhere fun, honey” Daddy said.
“Is mommy coming with us?” she asked.
“No, this is just a special treat, for you and me".
Read the rest of this entry ?
This news from NORML - Vermont has legalized medical marijuana.
I think this is EXCELLENT news.
The interesting part is that the governor refuses to sign the bill, but since it was voted in by the senators, it will become law in 5 days.
Gov. James Douglas apparently saw the movie “Reefer Madness” too many times, as he declared:
“I cannot actively support a measure that allows Vermonters to be subject to prosecution under federal law, increases the availability of a controlled substance and sends a dangerous message to our children.”
And what dangerous message would that be, Governor? That a drug has become legal for medicinal use?
Oh yeah, you better sit down for this part…
THE WHITE HOUSE LOBBIED AGAINST THIS BILL.
I see the shock registering on your face now. /sarcasm
*screams* That song is stuck in my head because it was the last thing I heard in the car this morning. This is a BAD thing.
I am as nervous as…a cat in a rocking chair factory, a cat on a hot tin roof… are there any dog clichés I can use?
I have a second interview tomorrow. Why does job hunting have to create so many feelings? I feel guilty, elated, worthless, hopeful. No wonder I feel like I am going to toss my cookies.
FREE SPEECH VICTORY FOR GREENPEACE!
Bush administration attempts to shut down Greenpeace have been thwarted!
We will not go easily Mr. Bush, et al.
Read the full story here.
Six CD Box Set of Dave Matthews at the Gorge. Three NIGHTS, unedited.
*has a small ‘gasm*
Kurt has some new prints available as well as a wristband, so we can all wear our hearts on our sleeves!
I adore this artist. ADORE.
and yet happy. I got called back for a second interview on a very cool job.
I notice the Quizno Sub creatures are not on TV much anymore. Thank you God.
However the new KFC commercials make me want to vomit.
“I’m a drive-thru diva”
“Chicks for Chicken”
“It’s always ladies first at KFC”
WTF?
Is it make sure females eat chicken month?
Yes, folks, that’s right. The insomnia is back. With a vengence.
This is SO not a good thing.
Not when my daytime boss is doing stupid shit like rearranging my desk and then saying “Did you notice anything different about your desk this morning?” in her annoying voice.
Then she says “I am trying to teach you how to keep a neat desk".
This from the woman who has a post-it note affixed to every square inch of her desk and cube walls.
Me? I am of the opinion as long as I can find what I need on MY desk, then she needn’t worry her brain about it. She should focus on other things. Perhaps getting laid might relieve her tension.
Or maybe I am just guilty because I lied and said I was going to the doctor so I could go on an interview? Which leads me to my next question…
Don’t the most honest of us still need to lie to go on a job interview? Is anyone honest enough to say “Hi, I need to leave early Monday so I can go on an interview, which, if I get the job, I will be leaving here so fast my ass will just be a blur?”
Anyway, the cool trick is from Mandarin Design Daily, which if I have not said it before, I LOVE THEM.
Oh yeah, I am thinking of changing domain names. What do you think of “roried.com"?
I just used Mt-Medic to change all my author permission’s and I got RID of that pesky little Melody!
Thank you MT-Medic and my friend Cyn!
These two are menaces to society.
I just watched last night’s episode where they ganged up and gave one couple an all black room and the other couple an all white room.
The couple with the white room cried they were so upset.
I wish they would incorporate more of the homeowners input when they are doing these rooms. It’s like an ego trip with them, and it reallys sickens me. It is not entertainment to see someone’s house ruined.
You can see the rooms here. Just know this, in the black room, it was BLACK BLACK, the photo makes it appear like it was shades of grey. No, it was black. Every single thing in the room.
I wonder if I am stuck forever using MovableType 2.66 because of the author problem. I cannot delete the author Melody.
So, if I try to install the free version, it will think I have more than one author.
This bites.
available at Swatch.com.
This day sucked.
My daytime boss apparently woke up and said “Gee, I think I will ride Rori’s ass, ALL day".
And she did not even have a strap-on and a whip, FFS.
It was the kind of day made me wish I could hit a happy hour and get completely trashed, and then have a taxi drive me by her house so I could shit on her lawn.
23 million fewer books were sold last year than in 2002
Don’t let books become extinct.
May 13. Snow.
I love it!
I don’t like having to drag my cart through it to meet vendors at work though, that part kinda bites.
No, seriously, RIP! Die already. We do not need another Frasier Crane sitcom.
But Bitch Has Word says it more eloquently than I.
hump.hump.hump.hump.hump.hump.hump.hump.HUMP!
It is Wednesday, right?
Humps.
I live in Colorado, so the Kobe Bryant trial is big news.
Tonight the broadcaster said:
“Find out how Kobe Bryant pleads on the sexual assault charge that could land him in jail for the rest of his life
Show of hands please from anyone who thinks that could ever possibly happen?
*peers*
Anyone?
Spoiler
Read the rest of this entry ?
Yeah, sailormongering. An obscure law, on the books since 1872.
It’s this law the Justice Department is using to prosecute Greenpeace.
Greenpeacers climbed on a ship hauling illegal lumber from the Brazilian Rainforest. They carried a banner asking Bush to stop illegal logging.
The individuals who actually boarded the ship have settled their cases, and the illegal loggers were never charged with anything.
But then the Justice Department decided to go after Greenpeace itself.
This will be an important case to watch, because it seems to be nothing more than another blow against Free Speech. It is likely Greenpeace will prevail, because of the stupidity of the charge and the vague nature of the “sailormongering” law.
Yeah, you know I am talking about the President.
“Iraqis are sick of foreign people coming in their country and trying to destabilize their country, and we will help them rid Iraq of these killers.”
This man does not even make sense. I seriously do not understand why anyone would be voting for him.
source-NY Times article
They already have four kids, ages 1, 2, 4 & 5. Three of the children have tested positive for cocaine and are in foster care because of neglect.
The parents have ignored an order to get mental health treatment and attend parent classes after the most recent birth.
This one tests me to the limit, as far as formulating an opinion. On one hand, I agree with the judge, if people are not going to be responsible, then by all means, force them to be.
OTOH, this seems to be a terrible invasion of civil liberties. Or is it? Do we have the right to have as many kids as we want, and then force society to shoulder the burden until such time, if it ever arrives, that we are ready to care for them ourselves?
Do we think of the children, and protect the ones who are here, and protect any ones not yet born?
What do YOU think?
Spoiler
Read the rest of this entry ?
I adore Yvonne. I love reading her blog, I love her family, I am sad for her loss and excited to see Gabriella.
I wanted to show this girl I work with the CUTE baby stuff, so I opened it at work and started seeking the link. (which I never found, which I think was moved).
The chick, who does not even GET what a blog is, started gasping. “Are those her boobs?” “Does that say Fuck?”
I nearly fell out of my chair laughing at her. Yeah, that’s right. AT her.
Blog virgins are so silly.
Thanks for helping pop her blog cherry in such grand style, Yvonne.
MWAH!
Damn, I miss blogging. I do try to keep as many read as possible, and be a good commenter, but I miss writing in it.
I was in Jiffy Lube today, getting my emissions test and on the TV in the waiting room, I heard how Bush went on TV to talk about how sorry he is about the torture of the Iraqis. I nearly shouted out “Yeah, sorry there were photos", but I refrained myself in time.
See, I already got told that I did not understand how things are in military time, and that one must go to great lengths to get people to confess.
Yeah, forcing someone to give someone else a blow-job is a sure conversation starter I am sure.
Oh well, I passed the emissions test, so I am off to get a new license plate tomorrow. Normally, as soon as I move, I get the new one, but this time, I have just procrastinated. But I do not have to give back my old one (one was stolen) so I guess I can make a lovely piece of art out of CA-GROOVYR.
Dentist tomorrow. Hope she doesn’t faint when she looks into the black hole of death.
Today you are three.
I gave you a bath today, I hope it makes you less itchy.
And how did you celebrate? Well, you jumped up on the couch when I went to the loo and you ate a whole Taco Bell Steak Soft Taco, except for a row of tomatoes you left.
Dog+Taco Bell=STINKY POO!
As Mother’s Day approaches, I can barely stand to see all the cards in the store. It just makes me so damn sad. The grief is always fresh and like a punch in the stomach. Meh.
Lately though, I have been thinking a lot about my Dad and how much it hurts that I basically do not exist in his life. To me, if you care about someone, you let them know. You occasionally call them to say Hi, how are you?
Or in the case of dads and daughters, it would seem to me that you should be able to call and ask for advice.
But not for me.
I am starting to realize that a core of my being is the sense of loss. I do not know how to grieve something like this… something that is a fundamental feeling that will never be reciprocated. I think this rejection by my dad is at the core of my feelings of worthlessness and unlovableness. I do know that it hurts.
by Iris Johansen
Elena Kyler – Rico Chavez wants her dead. Sean Galen must prevent that.
I adore Iris J. This was a very exciting story. Love, double-crossing – very good.
